Boundaries

I have mentioned previously that although my spouse and I are separated, we have a good friendship.  I believe that our good friendship is preventing him from understanding boundaries.  Let me share an example with you from earlier in the week.  The kids and I turned into the block where we live.  I could immediately see his car in the driveway and it was being washed by his buddy.  He was using my towels, water, electric etc.  I said to myself WTH?  You don't even live here!  You have some nerve!  The water and electric bill are very costly!  I greeted them friendly  and decided that now was not the right time to say something to him about this.  I remembered a few hours before, he called me but I was in a place where I could not answer my cell phone.   He did not leave a message or text me so I thought it could not have been that important.  I did try to call him back but was not able to reach him.  So,  I will  give him the benefit of the doubt to say that is why he called me.
I feel the proper thing would have been to text me and ask if it was o.k. to wash his car at my home.  Or say something to me upon my arrival at home. The best solution would have been for him to go to a car wash.  The money he was paying to have his friend wash his car could have been spent there.  I  wouldn't dare go over to his house when he was not home and wash clothes (besides I don't even have a key to get in).  Some may think that it may be a control issue but I really believe that he thought this was fine.  The positive thing is he did pay his friend to wash my vehicle because it definitely needed washing.  I decided that I was going to let it slide this time but I will have to have a friendly discussion with him the next time the boundary is crossed.  I am big on communication and know that pebbles left unattended have a way of turning into boulders really quickly.

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