Friends

It was a week yesterday that my husband moved out.  I am in a pretty good space mentally and our daughters had a good week as well.  Even my husband seemed to have a good week.  I know people will only tell you what they want you to know, but in talking to him, he sounds really good.  He doesn't sound angry or bitter.  He calls to check on us and has visited.  He even calls to tell me about the great bargains that he has found on certain household items (lol) and I am happy for him.  We were friends before he moved out, but something has even shifted for the better in this friendship.  I feel like I am talking to one of my closest friends rather than the spouse that I am separated from.  We have known each other for over 20 years, but our friendship has never been this good.  I know that as life goes on there will be obstacles and moments that we will agree to disagree.  What I pray is that we always keep the lines of communication and respect open.  I pray for nothing but the best for him.  A life where he is healthy, restored, happy and prosperous.  Not just because he is the father of my daughters and I want something from him.  There was a time when I didn't care what happened to him because of the pain and hurt he caused me.  A time where we lived under the same roof and slept in the same bed and didn't even speak to each other.  A time when the only thing we saw in each other was disgust.  I thank my God everyday that we are not the same people we used to be.  It took time for me to realize that I am not the only child God has, my spouse is a child of God as well.  He loves him just as much as he loves me.  I noticed that when I started to change my attitude about my husband, his attitude started to change towards me.

I understand that even though we are separated, we are still going through the same situation because this is his marriage as well.  It is a grieving process for both us and we will go through this process in our own way. There is always something good that can be found it every negative situation.   I would rather have a great friend than an unhealthy marriage any day.  The positive for me is that I have a new friend.