#WheredoIgofromhere

It has been almost three months since we officially separated and everyone is settling in our"new normal."    So the question is where do I go from here?  I know a lot of people that are separated from their spouses and have moved on with other relationships.  Some have divorces pending and others have not filed.  I also know a person that got engaged before they were even divorced.  Everyone has to do what they believe is best for them.  I feel that some people move forward to other relationships too quickly without healing from the failure of their marriage.  Some don't even take the time to learn from their mistakes. There are some who blame the failure of their marriage completely on the other person (it is never just one person's fault).  What ever the reason for the marital break down, just PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO HEAL, FORGIVE, AND LEARN BEFORE YOU MOVE FORWARD!  Even if your move forward is reconciliation with your spouse.  I can truly testify to this.  My husband and I were separated for 5 years the first time.   When we decided to reconcile, a few days before child number 2 was born, we never took the time to work on the problems that caused us to separate.  One of us wanted to go to counseling, the other one said we did not need counseling, we would be fine.  I guess that plan didn't work out.

 Again I ask, " Where do I go from here?"  The inpatient side of me wants to be in a relationship.  Even though my spouse moved out a little while ago, we were separated living under the same roof for a while. We agreed that we wouldn't see other people while we were living together.  So why shouldn't I get involved with someone else? Other people have done it and they seem to be fine.  I would like to have a movie or dinner date with that special someone.  The reality of the situation is whether or not people believe it, the failure of a marriage is a grieving process just like a death.  It is not fair to your self, children (if you have kids), and the new person of interest to get too serious too soon without healing, forgiving, and learning from the past.  You don't want to bring the baggage of the past into your present.  

So for me as I move forward, I am taking the time to grieve the end of my marriage and grow closer to God to be the best woman I can be and a good role model for my daughters.  I love myself and I will not settle just for anyone and rush into anything.  Love will come again but healing, forgiveness, and wisdom will come first.

Comments are encouraged and welcomed.