Independence Day

Just as a new relationship goes through phases, so does the end of a relationship.  I know that I am in the acceptance phase.  Accepting that the marriage is over and that the next move is to file for divorce when the legal waiting period is over.  This has been a reality for me for a while but there have been some events that have occurred that have made me completely sure that this is the best option for me.  It seems as though my estranged spouse is stuck in the denial phase.  I pray that as we move forward through this process, that he too moves into acceptance.  I would like to maintain a friendship with him but sometimes he seems to have difficulty navigating through the separation.  I expect him to call and check on his children, however holding lengthy conversations with me that don't involve matters about our kids is not necessary. Making plans with the kids and trying to include me is not moving forward.  We should maintain a positive relationship with each other because we have children together and we will always be in each others lives. He has to accept the fact that the family dynamics are different now.  Spending time with the children does not need to include me.  It feels like the more I move forward with my independence, the more he wants to cling.

The children and I had a "first moment" since the separation.  This evening was the first time that we went to dinner at a restaurant without Dad.  We had a really nice time.  No one was on their cellphone.  We actually talked and enjoyed each other's company.  This wasn't always the case in the past.  I look forward to many other first moments with them.  

My birthday is July 4th, Independence Day in America (Happy Birthday to Me!) This independence day birthday has special significance to me.  I have grown a lot since last year's birthday.  I have not accomplished all that I had planned, but I can confidently say that I will not stop until I do.  I am not living in the past, I only learn from it and use past mistakes or hurts to become better.  One day in the near future, I will be like the founding fathers signing my Declaration of Independence.  By that time, I pray that the other founding father is in agreement because there will not be a war.

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