Today marks my 21st wedding anniversary. I wonder if April 2nd will forever be a reminder that I got married on that date or will one day it just represent the day after April Fool's day. We actually stopped celebrating the anniversary while we were still living together. This was during the separated but still cohabiting phase that went on for a few years.
Well, speaking of April fools, I have been asking myself lately what was I thinking? You really married him? We were unequally yoked from the beginning and I am not just referring to our religious beliefs. He does not have the qualities and characteristics of the man I desire to be married to. It's no wonder the marriage didn't work. I am not saying he is a bad guy, just saying that he was not the one for me. He could probably say the same thing about having married me. I don't stay in those questioning moments too long because this could lead to depression. I have grown too much as a person to fall into this trap. What is done, is done. My life is the way it is- good or bad because of decisions I made. The best thing I can do is cherish the life lessons learned, the wisdom gained, and not repeat the mistakes of the past. There is a saying that states what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. But to that I would like to add, it can only kill you if you allow it to.
Wow...Kim, I can truly relate to you with this post. My anniversary is November 4th and every year that it rolls around I am not sure how I feel. :/ Sometimes I think about what could've been and other times on 11/04 I ask myself...WTH were you thinking? I am a living witness that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I also believe that if it doesn't kill you it makes you wiser. I would love to get married again to a God-fearing man who loves me and my daughter. I haven't lost hope and I pray that one day my new anniversary date will remind me of nothing but love and joy instead of confusion.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you can relate. It is good to know that you are not the only person experiencing the same situation. You are absolutely correct. It does make you wiser as long as we are open to receive the wisdom and don't become bitter. Unfortunately some people don't see it that way. I am glad that you are not one of those people. I stand in agreement with you as well. One day both of our anniversaries will be a reminder of love and joy !
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