WOW !!!

My estranged spouse told me yesterday that he was sent an anonymous text advising him to check out my Facebook posting which lead him to my blog.  I told him last year that I started a blog but he hadn't read it until the other day for the first time.  He said he remembers that I told him but he didn't know what it was about.  Whether the "anonymous" person meant it to cause harm or not, God allowed this to be a great thing !  A moment of enlightenment for him!  I will not share everything he said because that is between he and I.  However, I will share that he said he finally realized how unhappy I had been for all of those years and he thanked me for hanging in there as long as I did.  All of these years that I have been talking, explaining, fussing, crying, etc. I was never truly understood until he read every last post that I had written over the last year.  All I can say is WOW !!!!!!  I gained a little more insight into his psyche and some things make more sense to me now.  
I am glad for him and I pray that this is the beginning of a new chapter for him in his life, a time for self assessment and continued growth.  That is what I have been doing during this time and it has truly been a great thing for me! I have said in previous postings that we both played a part in the  break down of the marriage.  The lesson that I have learned is that even though you think a person is listening and understands you, they actually may not.  Even if they say they understand.   Just like it is important to know the love language of your spouse or significant other, it is important to understand their communication language as well.  Now it is just not me Moving Forward, we both are.

It's My Anniversary ?

Today marks my 21st wedding anniversary.  I wonder if April 2nd will forever be a reminder that I got married on that date or will one day it just represent the day after April Fool's day.  We actually stopped celebrating the anniversary while we were still living together.  This was during the separated but still cohabiting phase that went on for a few years.
Well, speaking of April fools, I have been asking myself lately what was I thinking?  You really married him?  We were unequally yoked from the beginning and I am not just referring to our religious beliefs.  He does not have the qualities and characteristics of the man I desire to be married to. It's no wonder the marriage didn't work.  I am not saying he is a bad guy, just saying that he was not the one for me. He could probably say the same thing about having married me.  I don't stay in those questioning moments too long because this could lead to depression.  I have grown too much as a person to fall into this trap.  What is done, is done.  My life is the way it is- good or bad because of decisions I made.   The best thing I can do is cherish the life lessons learned, the wisdom gained, and not repeat the mistakes of the past.  There is a saying that states what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  But to that I would like to add, it can only kill you if you allow it to.